Drag Me To Hell Review (2009)

After taking a hiatus from horror movies, to work on the summer popcorn Spiderman franchise, Raimi decided to head back to his roots with Drag Me To Hell. But once you leave can you go back? Of course you can! In fact Ivan Raimi and Sam Raimi had written and talked about the film before Sam ditched to work on Spiderman. Its okay Sam, we forgive you. Raimi has stated that he wanted the film to be rated PG-13 on purpose. Saying that he didn't want the main appeal to be blood and gore, as he had done that before. Even though it does move away from the gore aspect we have come to know and love from Raimi, it still does deliver on subtle and dark humor. Casting Justin Long was a good start, but...I don't know, it seemed a little lack-lustery to me.

Raimi can continue to make horror movies if he likes, or he can continue to make Spiderman movies if he likes. It doesn't matter, the Spiderman movies obviously make tons of money, and Raimi does a great job directing them. When he does come back to horror though, he previous films have been a little shakey, The Gift, The Quick and The Dead, and Darkman all failed finacially at the box-office. However, with Drag Me To Hell having a budget of 30 million, and making 80 million, you can expect Raimi to Drag You To Hell Again

The plot is simple. A loan officer is competing for a managers position at the bank she is working at. Its down to her and another man named Stu (I think..?), later in her day, an eldery woman comes into the bank, wishing for an extension on her loan, even though the bank has already given her two extensions before. Wanting to impress her boss by showing him that she can make tough decisions, she decides to deny the old woman an extensions, thus foreclosing her home. As it turns out, this old woman is actually a hungarian gyspsy, and she decides that its time to use her gyspsy powers, and put a curse on this young girl. The curse lasts for three days, each day increasing in devilish torment, and on the fourth day, a spirit will come to take to burn in hell for all of eternity. Shit, now she actually has to do some work. I like the story, its quick, its easy, and its fun. Raimi always has a great eye for mythos and charaters and it definatly shows.

The acting in the film was decent at best. The main role of Christen Brown was played by newcomer Alison Lohman, she did an alright job, but she seemed almost too hollywood for my taste. Kind of typical auginu, but who knows, maybe I'm just a dick. But, I guess that Raimi had to take what he could get, when his original planned actess -Ellen Page, of Juno- dropped out due to a scheduling conflict, and I think that she would have done an excellent. Justin Long plays Christen's boyfriend, he was funny in the few scenes that he was in, but it was your regular boyfriend role where he said basically "I feel sorry for you, but I don't believe you!"

While the film was made to be a PG-13 movie, it did have quite a bit of blood and gore in it. Such as VERY killer nose-bleed, exploding eyes, and staplers to the face. So, that obviously mean that the movie tends to be a jump-scare based movie. I say this, because the MPAA gives R ratings to more mature movies with tension, because they usually deal with more mature subject matter, such as sex, and often have more language, and that is what Americans are afraid of and...ahhhh, I'll save this for some sort of topical rant.

For some reason, I felt that the pacing for this movie was off too. I don't know it it's just Raimi or what, but with both of the movies I've reviewed by him, the pacing just seems off. In this one it began pretty quick, then slowed way down, and then picked way up, and it was just strange. I don't know if it was the story, or the diolouge or whatever, it just bothered me. However, a positive of the movie was the effects. While the blood and gore described above were all done in classic on-set practical effects, while the other monsters and ghouls where done with CG, greenscreen, water puppets, and tons of other classic, and cool effect styles.

Overall, while Drag Me To Hell was better than a lot of your typical B-Movies, and a lot of popular horror films that have come out recently with the PG-13 rating, it still wasn't as good as I had hoped and expected. The acting wasn't that good, the pacing was off, and it seemed very rushed, and had a dissapointing ending, but great effects, and a cool main story save this movie from total destruction, while I hope that I don't get drug into seeing this again, it was better than actually getting dragged to hell.

3/5

Stuff In Theatres

This is probably one of the few posts I'm ever going to do in regular font...so if you don't like reading small font...fuck you the posts would be way to big if...anyway who cares. I've been seeing a lot of flicks in theaters lately and I've been debating whether or not I should start like reviewing on spot or not. I haven't really decided. Anyway, the stuff thats in the side bar over there---------------------------->
is stuff that I've watched but haven't had the time to write about... so look forward to that. Anyway...here's the shit ive seen in the cinema!!!

PARANORMAL ACTIVITY-So, I live in like this small, country like town, and so we don't get much in the way of independent realeses, and its been almost four weeks since this things been getting all of its buzz, and my theatre still hasn't gotten, so I say "Screw it!" And I drive nearly two hours to the nearest metropolitain area, to see. For as good as this movie is, I feel that there is no way that it could have possibly lived up to the hype that was following which is too bad. That's not even the part that pisses me off, the thing that really pisses me off, is I drive four hours total to see the shit-kicker, and it comes to my local theatre the next week. FUCK!!

THE BOX-Now I've been a huge Kelly fan ever since Donnie Darko, and I think that everyone loves Donnie Darko, and then he realesed a film called Southland Tales which not nearly as many people have seen, and even fewer liked, I will go on record as saying...I liked Southland Tales. It wasn't great by any means, but it wasn't terrible. I'm very mixed on The Box, because it has the traditional Kelly universe mythos kinda shit goin' on with it, but it feels very rushed, and choppy, and very Hollywood. I've read online that this movie was cut down from like two and a half hours, so I'[m hoping for an unrated version to review, see if that would be any better.

SAW VI-I am very biased when it comes to the SAW franchise. I'm biased in the fact that I love almost every single one of them (except maybe IV) and I have a few reasons, that I feel not enough people take into consideration...but that will all be explained soon, as I have to review the first one, which will most likely lead to reviewing the second one and so on.

Anyway...just thought that I should put it out there that even though i'm not updating as much as I would like to (I aim for twice a week, and usually get once) I am still watching these movies...so PLEASE don't lose faith...peace

The Evil Dead Review (1981)

The first film in Sam Raimi's classic evil dead series, the appropriatly titled The Evil Dead, it set out to be the ultimate experience in grueling horror. The film was made for only $375,000, and that meager budget almost went to waste, as the film was denied by nearly ever American and European distributor, for fear that it would be to controverisal. The film was only moderatly successful at the box-office, making about 2,500,000, now years later, the film has become one of the most refrenced, and cult followed film of all time.

Upon its inital realese, The Evil Dead was a very controverisal film. Not because of theme, or content, not for animal cruelty (Cannibal Holocaust*cough cough*) but for its excessive use of violence and gore. Before the rating was exhumed, The Evil Dead was given the coveted X rating. When it was re-submitted in 1994, it was rated NC-17.

When a group of five friends go out on a camping trip, lead friend Ash (played by the legendary Bruce Campbell) rents a cabin in the woods. Upon arriving, they find some very strange things, a log is oddly tied up and is being swung at the wall. Later, while sitting by the fire, another one of the friends find that the grandfather clock has mysteriously stopped, defying all possible acts of gravity. Looking around the cabin, Ash and Scott find a strange recording, and bring it upstairs, and decide to give it a play. Little do the unsuspecting teens know that they have just read a passage from the Necronomicon, or the Book of the Dead, and realese and unrelenting horde of EVILL!!

Firstly, lets talk about the actors and charecters in this movie. Every single charecter seems to be based on an actual archatype of some sort, and all of the actors pull it off very well. That being said, while the actors were there for principal photography, they all left (with the exception of Bruce Campbell) and they had to use bunches of fake actors as replacments. I'll just throw this in as part of this paragraph, that most of the sets, and the cabin, were excellently pulled off. Even though they looked good for a cheap budget, if it was a bigger budget, it wouldn't be as much as a surprise.

The story while simple, is still very fun to watch and intruging. However, I still think that the pacing was incredibly strange. The beggining is slow and somewhat boring, and it left way to much to be desired. At first it was like some sort of paranormal thriller, ghost story thing, which would have been kind of cool, and right with the pacing, but eventually when it cranks up the speed, it works as a zombie film, I just thought that it was weird.

The blood and gore in this film is AMAZING! Its a classic film for that reason, and it certainly deserves it. There is literal moments where blood is just pouring out of pipes, and running down projectors. Its the simple recipe that you can make at home, Karo Corn Syrup, and Red Food Coloring. Now this may seem like nothing, but when you see it all come together at the end, with the classic uses and techniques. And again with the budget, but for a miniscule budget it still makes things even better. Also, it has some natural scares that were really fun. The laughing baby doll zombie that sits in the doorway was just creepy!

Overall The Evil Dead is an amazing film that holds up incredibly well. It is better than most stuff that comes out nowadays, and was probobaly better than most things that had come out during that time. The gore, acting, and story was amazing. But for some reason the pacing just really annoyed me, I don't know if it was because I just wasn't in the mood or what. The ending was also cool. So The Evil Dead was pretty awesome and gets:

4/5

The Nin9s Review (2007)

As much as it pains me to say this...I really like a movie with Ryan Reynolds. And this is the movie. Now, usually I don't really like Reynolds (damn you X-Men Origins, you fucked up Deadpool so bad!) But The Nin9s was simply fantastic. It was created by then first time writer and director John August. I hope to see a lot more of this guy in years to come. Now, before this thing gets going, I'm gonna warn you. The Nin9s does have some creepy elements to it, but it is defiantly no a full fleged horror film. So if you're expecting to be scared out of your mind...sorry.

While the film has a lot of big names attachted to it, including Reynolds, Mellisa McCarthy, and Hope Davis, the film mostly traveled festivals before dissapearing. Once these starts reached critical level, the film was realesed to DVD in hopes of cashing in on their success. And it probably did. I hate it when studios realese old films based on an actors recent success, much like what they are doing with Robert Patteson, and Ellen Page, it just seems cheap, and makes you feel that the actors aren't that good. I happen to come across this film through my brother.

The Nin9s story is very confusing. Coveluted? No. But radically different, yet dramatically gifted. The film itself is basically three short storys, all featuring the same actors, playing differnt roles. All of these storys interconnect as the film moves down its path, and ultimatly form an unsettling, and somewhat dissapointing conclusion. The ending is unexpected and shocking, but a little anti-climactic.

When I said this film had its creepy moments, I definatly meant it. One scene inparticular made me have goosebumps. For reasons to long to explain here, a main charecter ends up having a baby moniter in his house, used to hear a baby while its sleeping. Through the moniter comes the following phrases.

The Duck Says: Quack Quack Quack
The Pig Says: Oink Oink Oink
The Rooster Says: Gobble, Gobble Gobble
The Cow Says: [insert creepy voice of choice]: Nines Nines Nines Nines Nines Nines Nines Nines Nines Nines
I really liked this scene, and many other similair to it. John August had talent both as a writer and a director, being able to pull of horror drama and comedy all within this tight laced film.

The acting was excellent by all. I really enjoyed the performances by Melissa McCarthy and Ryan Reyonlds. I felt they both did an excellent job with and excellent script, all while having to perform for many characters. I didn't really like Hope Davis, but that is probably because I didn't like her characters, which was most likely intentional.

I won't spend to much time on this review since it really isn't horror film, but I thought I should inform those of you who read, about an excellent, under-hyped film that no one really talks about. Overall, The Nin9s is fun, thought-provoking, well written, performed excellently, and created with the utmost perfection. The Nin9s recives...

5/5





P.S. when I was googling pics for this, this is what happened in my search results.
of about 97,600 for the nin9s. (0.09 seconds)

The Descent Review (2006)

Coming in straight from 2006 is director Neil Marshall's horrific tale of The Descent. Neil Marshall, the previous writer and director of Dog Soldiers, made his return to film in a cave. Being one of the most positivly reviewed horror films of the past decade, by both fans and critcs alike, the real question was, does The Descent live up to the hype. While the film is now known all around the world, everyone should know that it is a majorly British film. With a mostly British cast, a British script, and was filmed in England and Scotland. All that for a movie set in America.

Now, before I officially begin this review you need to know a few things about this movie. Firstly it has two shockingly different endings. The European ending, and the American ending. The film was realesed nearly a year later in America than it was in European countrys. And upon test audience results, filmakers learned that most audiences on the western hemisphere found the original ending to dark. A small bit of editing fixed all that. I am here to tell you that I know both versions of the film, like the original ending more, and will be reviewing THAT film here today.

The story of The Descent is actually quite simple. It's about six women who go on an annual vaction in which they perform some sort of extreme sport, whether it be white water rafting, rock climbing, sky diving, it is always sure to be dangerously fun. So when the new year comes into effect they begin to plan their latest trip. They decide to hike up the Appalachin Mountains to go cave spelunking. Now for those of you who don't know, cave spelunking is when you repel down into the open mouth of an underground cave, and explore its trenches. So, once these women descend into the cave, they get trapped. And upon futher inspection, they realize that they are not alone in the frigid caverns.

I feel that the story for the film is great. I mean, though old, and pretty predictable, the setting of a cave is one that you hardly see anymore. Other than this film, it's hard for me to think of really other big ones that have come out in the past ten years. Anywho, a cave is the perfect place for a film to be set, it is a naturally creepy place because of all the cartoons we see as a kid, its cold, dark, wet, and the cave that was in this film (even though it was a set) was really good, because it had tight corners, and barely breathable air. And no matter how old you are, you're biggest fear, your worst nightmare, virtually everyone has some kind of fear of being stuck, not being able to move. The Descent takes your natural claustrophobia and exploits it, which is acutally more frightening than the beasts.

The acting in this film was decent. It wasn't spectacular, but I don't think that it really needed to be. Most scenes deal with six women in a cave. But, this is also where the acting hits its fault. Neil Marshall wanted to make the film with an only female cast because women talk about their feelings more than men do. So when it comes time to make these scenes become a reality, I lose faith in the film because I don't believe these women are fearing for their life. They are simply speaking lines, that you could tell someone had already written for them.

As for effects, the sets that were used for the caves were spectacular. I thought that they were real until I read that they were in fact sets on a studio. The blood in this film was extreme. I thank God, for, once again, for NEIL MARSHALL! He only used practical effects for the blood and gore in this film. Which is amazing because there is so much of it. And with the way most horror films are using are using blood and gore withe CGI, I just loved watching it. The only thing that I didn't like about the practical production was the actual monsters themselves. I wish that they would've stuck with darkness and claustrophobia for natural scares and tension, and left the monster to be implied. Since everyone has a natural fear of being stuck, the monsters kind of took away from natural scares, and a fear that the audience could relate to.

I appreciated the ending of this film and felt that it was an amazing addition to the film itself. It also, almost, made up for the lack of emotionality the charecters had. The ending was deep, heartfelt, and utterly disturbing. And I felt that it was the true ending, over the American version.

Overall, The Descent is one of the most intense, crazy, scary, frightening, well done, excellent, horror films of the last decade. The sequel is set to come out soon, and I am only somewhat excited to see, but I am for sure going to see whatever Neil Marshall does next.

4/5